hmmm......

there are so many things that i want to say, but i don't know where to start.

camp:

I think the new year sucks for me.. not just new year but also chinese new year. Why?.. because of guard duty. This whole thing is really making me sick of being a Singaporean.. i'm doing because not that i love this country, i'm doing it because i've got no choice, no say, and also because i must listen to your rank(which is not leadership at all) i really want to leave so bad and just fly away from here.

After 5pm:

life after 5pm is also not really good, friends are killing each other. Makes me think of closing myself up.. seriously who can i turn to when everyone is just fighting and not solving it properly. things that pop out from my head are finding new people to mix around with. who can i trust... and many more.

church:

I need leaders! I need people who are willing to step out from the comfort zone and just move forward!.. GOD IF I FAIL, I FAIL WITH YOU. please send me people who are strong and willing to go all out for you.

Home:

not everything is going smooth... i start to wonder why mom haven't call to remind me to call her.. i know i should call.. but what do i say to mom?... i havent stay with her for the past 11 years.. it's tiring to keep trying to stay connected... i'm just a mere man... i hope you understand.. you should know the choices you made 11 years ago will affect today, i'm sorry mom... but it's fustrating to be a middle man.

i'm not sure what to blog about right now, but there are always many things on my mind. right now the feeling of getting out of army is very strong. if i had a chance to just get out i would do it.

GOD!!!! help me to pull through!!

the stress for the new year is gone, but now another piss off thing in the army again, nothing will ever change will it?.. now 8 of us got to sign for extra duty which is not our fault at all! is either the 8 of us are blur idiots or they don't dare to admit mistakes they made. bollocks to the army!. no wonder everybody wants out of the army. poor management and communication! the truth is if your parents go to any camp on a normal day, they will question why am i paying tax for this? really pissed off! got to get out of here as soon as 1 more year pass and never turining back, unless god wants me to.